Because I Love You
by giraffe.hanson
Summary: What I'm feeling is forbidden. But then why do I still feel it? How can I possibly feel this way about ,Declan? I'm his sister.
1. It's How I Feel

You asked for it and you got it. My disclaimer. Story's mine but not the characters or degrassi.  
Caution everyone I'm warning you now that, well I'm not one for insect but I can't help it  
when it comes to Fiona and Declan. This story is going to get very saucy at times, so that most likey  
means i'm touching on those taboo subjects. So listen, I won't update again 'till I see a healthy amount of reviews.  
If you do review I'll read one of your stories and review. I mean it. :]

So happy reading, all. 3

Fiona Elizabeth Coyne.

Thats who I am. Daughter of Laura and Mark Coyne. And I'm also the sophisticated, adult-like, woman of the world they want me to be. Don't get me wrong I don't mind being all those things, it's just that my parents aren't ever around long enough to even begin to know what I'm like. I mean sure they call three days a week and we have hour long talks, but it's just not the same as them being with us. When I say us I mean my brother Declan and I. The only person that hasn't left me to go to another country for work, the only person who doesn't leave without so much as a goodbye, and the only person who doesn't just walk in and out of my life. And he promised me he never would, but right now I'm wondering if hes going to be able to uphold that promise to me. Now I'm terrified I just can't lose him, if I do I'll just become a vacant entity. I'll become nothing, I'll sink into oblivion, because Declan James Coyne is half of me and without him...I can't even finish that sentence. Because I can't be without him. Ugh. I'm disgusting, what kind of person feels this...this way about their own brother. Their own flesh and blood. I guess I'm that kind of person.

I'm in love with Declan.

But he doesn't know and he will never know. I could never burden him with something like this, I can't even imagine what he would begin to think. It would be too much for him, for anyone. So I'll keep this little secret to myself, one of the only things I've ever kept from Declan. So I'll give him some space. Ha.I'm so far in denial that I'm making it seem like hes the one that needs space. He isn't the one falling for me, I'm falling for him. I'm the one who needs to distance herself. But it's not like Declan's not already doing it. I mean after Holly freaking J entered the picture things really did change. The picture went from me and my beloved Declan to my beloved Declan and his beloved Holly J. I wasn't in the frame anymore, and it was truly killing me. She is the closet person to Declan, she's taken my place. And Declan doesn't seem to mind not even the slightest bit and it hurts it really hurts. It's the little things that he doesn't even know matter that hurt the most. Declan would always get me a caramel frap in the early mornings before school. And that morning I went up to him and took my frap. Which I soon realized wasn't for me, it was for Holly J his new sunshine. I became a cloud, and I hated being the second second best. My face along with my heart dropped and I knew Declan noticed. So before he could began to say anything I made my witty comment and weaved my way through the icicng on the cake was my makeshift smile.

Then Declan did something that hurt so much I couldn't breathe , or fathom how he could even think of doing it.

Declan gave Holly J a bracelet, and its not like he hasn't given bracelets to the tens of other girls hes been with. But this bracelet was diffrent it held meaning, it was our grandmother's bracelet . My grandmother was the most important person to me after Declan, and I think that she knew how I felt about Declan. Because I would always gaze at him from afar and I would bake cookies for him. And I always wore my pretty dresses around him. For some reason my grandmother seemed to be okay with this horrible thing I was feeling. She did something very sweet for me when Declan and I were seven. Before she died she gave Declan her beloved bracelet and she told him to give it to the girl that means the most to him. That day , Declan came up to me with his big icy blue eyes full of life and his unkempt chestnut-colored hair. He said " Fiona, grammy gave me this bracelet and said I have to give it to the girl who means uhm uh...oh yeah the most to me." I stood there confused and just stared at him. He continued. "And it's you Fiona, but this bracelet is for an old person. So when your," Declan stopped to count on his fingers. "seventeen I'll give it to you. Promise!" I've remembered that day my whole life and I was waiting for him to pull me to his side then slip that beautiful memory around my wrist. The hurt slammed into me like a bus would when I found out Holly J had it. But I kept up my facade and told her the Sophie story. Declan James Coyne is being taken from me. And I won't stand for it, but what can I do? Okay well that's the first chapter for now chickadees. I'm probably going to wait until the Degrassi Goes Manhattan special to write on. But be warned I'll probably tweak the story line so it won't be exactly the same as the show. Anyway hope you like it. Please review! :) 


	2. Along The Way

Hey everyone, I'm back…with the second chapter! (insert applause here)  
I hope you guys enjoyed the first chapter, if you did be sure to review (wink wink).  
Oh and heres a shout out to rawrxamberx, for being my first comment.

I woke up today nowhere near as happy as I should be. I mean I'm moving back to one of the places I've felt the most secure in, I'm finally going to be done with Degrassi, and its summertime. But all of these amazing things come with a price. Declan invited Holly J to stay with us for the summer in New York. He's never asked any of his girlfriends not even Sophie to do that. Ugh. I hate this place, I could wish nothing more than to have never set foot here. Ever since we came to this place nothing is the same. Degrassi changed him. Holly J Sinclair changed him. Holly J changed Declan. What is it that's so wonderful, so amazing about her? What does she have that captured not only Declan's heart but his whole? But most of all I want to know what she has that made Declan put me second, no I'm sugar coating it for my sanity. I want to know what she has that makes Declan forget that I exist. Whatever it is I want it, I need it . I- my thoughts were interrupted by Declan himself. He probably noticed that my food wasn't going anywhere near my mouth, it was just being fondled by my fork.

"Fi? Fi? What's wrong?

He spoke slow and calm but I could hear the concern and the slight desperation. And as messed up as it is I'm so happy to finally have some of his emotion toward me. It took me some time to respond " Declan I-" My mouth just stopped because as soon as I started J appeared and was all over her precious boyfriend. So even though I was ready to tell Declan what was wrong he wouldn't hear any of it. I decided to just leave the table and my food. The same amount of food that was there when I got to the table was the same amount that was there now. Even though I wanted to say something I realized it was too early in the morning for a witty remark or a snarky comment. But that doesn't mean I don't hate the fact that she's here. She came over last night since mother and father are out of town. And they were up all night. I could hear everything , I guess Declan ceased to remember that our rooms are right next to each others. It was disgusting and I still had the chills. Okay thinking about it made me want to throw eggs at children, so I took a shower to get it off my mind. I began to undress and noticed I was wearing a paint spattered shirt that used to belong to Declan. With just Declan's shirt on I felt like all the hopeless girls he had his way with. I never envied their beauty no matter how pretty some of them where. All I envied was that they had my brother in a way I was never going to have him. But then I realized they had him for a night maybe a few weeks. I had him forever, well at least I used to. This shirt was back before the Holly J days. I had stolen it from his drawers because I was painting my new room. I couldn't use one of mine.( I work hard to design my clothes.) And Declan caught me in it. He said the only way he'd let me use it was if I let him paint with me. Declan left the room to go change, and he came back as the Declan I liked, adored,..loved. The Declan who wore a T-shirt and jeans instead of a blazer and dress pants. The Declan who had a mess of hair one his head instead of it styled perfectly. The Declan who insisted that I paint my room maroon because he knew it was my favorite color. He used to really know me.

So Declan and I started painting and a few minutes in ,I felt a splash of paint on my neck. When I turned around he was just acting like he was painting. Thus started the paint war. It ended with me tackling Declan and hundreds of giggles. As we laid there panting from all the running Declan took my hand and looked at me. We stayed there together. He finally spoke "Fi your always here, you've always been with me." I just stared at him dumbfound with a goofy smile. Declan than began to whisper to me.  
"Then again it's not like I would let you have it any other way."  
He brought his face back down so that it was now adjacent to mine. He soon inched closer, I inched closer, he inched closer and our lips were so close to colliding. I could feel his breath it was hot and heavy. His bottom lip touched mine and BAM! My bedroom door slammed against the wall behind it and mother walked in. Declan and I separated so fast that it had me thinking I should join a sport. I got up, put on a smile, and hugged her. But in truth never in my life had I been so annoyed and irritated to see my mother. She interrupted my kiss with Declan. All I got was a half a kiss, maybe even just a quarter of a kiss. Luckily, she only stopped by for a few hours. It was awkward enough with Declan in the house but she made it twice as worse. I was just confused out of my mind so to calm my nerves I watched If You Come Softly. As I was watching Declan made his way into my room.

"If You Come Softly, huh? You really love this movie Fi, don't you?"

He said to me. I looked up and nodded as an answer. It was in that moment I realized we couldn't talk about what happened we would just keep living life like it never happened. But I knew that we were both thinking about it and we would continue to think about it. By that time I had that worried face on because Declan crawled on my bed, pulled me close, and kissed my forehead or at least he tried to. Suddenly something took over me and I became courageous. I put my mouth where my forehead was and closed my eyes. And finally. finally I got my kiss, and I knew Declan's eyes where wide open and full of shock. But I was in too much of a euphoric place to care. I had kissed before but it never felt like this. He pulled away and I opened my eyes. He gazed at me one more time before grazing my lips with his once more. Declan held me close and we spent the night together , consumed in each other.

That memory it brought me to my knees. It leveled me down. It shoved me off my high horse and dropped me into reality. The reality was I would never have another one of those memories to hold dear to me, I would never be able to be all that Declan needed. Not _anymore_. That word it echoed through my head. _Anymore_. I was starting to hate it because it constantly reminded me of what I didn't have, who I didn't have. My thoughts only consisted of "He doesn't need you _anymore." "_He doesn't want you _anymore_.". So I cried, with all my being , I cried. Everything I had , everything I worked so hard for was gone. It just disintegrated right in front of me and all I did , all I could do was cry. After I ran out of tears to cry I took a soothing shower and got out after about thirty minutes. I slipped on my robe and headed for my room , in the process passing Declan's room. And they were going at it again. I couldn't believe it, Declan had no consideration for me whatsoever. It was like stabbing me repeatedly in the heart was something he now enjoyed. My head was spinning fast again, and the sounds they were making weren't helping at all. In fact it was giving me a headache, it was tearing me apart. I ran past Declan's room and into mine. I grabbed whatever was in my reach , threw it on and took off running. I ran and ran and ran. I ran until my body physically made me stop. I had the mentality that I could go on for hours, my body on the other hand didn't think so. I had to find a bench , quick. In the time it took me to catch my breath I could have been to Niagara Falls. I sat there for two hours with my legs pressed against me and my arms wrapped around myself. I figured if I was out here I might as well look around. So started too wandered around Toronto. I walked backwards and kept my head turned upwards at the sky as I walked , not caring about who or what I crashed into. So when I crashed into some girl naturally I didn't care.

"Wow, I guess rich snotty people really do get to do whatever they want."

I guess her rude remark was what I got for being so uncaring. I realized if I answered her back like I normally would this situation would escalate. Maybe being nice to people other than Declan would be a good idea.

" Hey lo-,"

I started my sentence before I turned around to look at her and when I did see her. I just , I just froze. She was so beautiful , she was too beautiful . Her skin was the color of caramel and it was glowing. Her hair was long, black and silky.

"What? I'm so unimportant that you can't talk to me?" She heightened her tone as she said it.  
" No, no that's not it at all. It's just...you're so pretty." I can't believe I said that out loud, I only meant to think that. Great , just great. I decide to be nice to someone and now they're going to think that I'm creepy. She began to talk again.

" Wait, wha- huh? I'm so confused now. Okay whatever. All I want to know is if you're sorry for bumping into me."  
" Yes, Yes! I am." Why am I so swift to answer her? I hardly know her.

Before my inner turmoil could continue, this girl whose name was still unknown to me grabbed my hand and started running.

"Where are you taking me?" I asked in utter confusion.  
"Just c'mon." Was her reply and I thought why not? It's not like anyones going to miss me. Theres a party going on and I'm sure Holly J and Declan are too busy to notice I'm gone.

She stops abruptly and leads me into a store. It's a quaint, lovely shop. She sits me down and orders two sets of red velvet cupcakes.  
"What do you want to drink?" she asks as she slips me a menu. I look at it for a sec and back up at her.

"Uh caramel frap would be good. By the way I'm-"

"Fiona Coyne."

"How'd you know, that?"

"My brother has this mondo crush on you and won't shut up about it." She laughed as she said it.

"You go to Degrassi?" I asked a bit puzzled because I never saw her around. And I know I would have noticed her.

" Ha. No. No, I don't. Too much drama." She didn't know the half of it speaking it of her I was tired of calling her she.

"So what is your name?"

"I'm Grey."

"What, you don't have a last name?" Old habits die hard the wit just kicks in.

"It just so happens I do, and I just told you what it was." Her satire was growing on me.

"Uh well then whats you're first name."

"Well, it's something you'll never know."

"Never say never." To take away from how cheesy that sounded I winked at Grey after I said it.

And with that thought I realized that I rather be here with Grey, than at any stupid party. For once I wasn't thinking about Declan abandonment. This was a day well spent and it was all thanks to a stranger. And I learned a few things and made a friend, _along the way_.

Okay so this was a little longer than meant to be. Sorry if it was to long I had to establish I new charater. But everyone, thanks for reading. :]. And just so you know Grey isn't just a one time character. She is going to help me stir up some you ask? Just read and see.I'm expecting 7 or more reviews until I write another chapter. So please review, and I'm talking to all of you who favorited my story and didn't. That's right I'm onto you. Send me an email if you feel like it, I like talking to fellow writers/readers.

-Viva la Satire.


	3. Its The Price You Pay

Chapitre tres, mon amis. You know the drill :).  
And also this time I want you guys to answer a question.  
For Declan Holly J or Fiona? And explain your answer.

Ecstatic, terrified, blissful scared. My emotions were contradicting themselves, my emotions were yanking each other back and forth, my emotions were confused. I was confused, because I didn't know how to feel. I was making a friend. The last friend I had was in Geneva and that was back when I was fifteen. It had been two years (two years!) since I had a real friend. I know it sounds unusual for a teenage girl to not have any friends. Truth is I never really needed any. Declan was my best friend and I was his. We were all each other had for a long time, but that changed in Geneva. I guess that hormones kicked in for Declan because I hardly ever saw him without a girl on his arm. And it angered me, that all these girls were taking a piece of Declan. So in return I never warned them about the fate that would befall them. With Declan it always started with a casual give casual glance. Soon enough the casual glance would become more than just a casual glance. Then whoever the poor sap was would get interested and he would pull away. That would make her even more interested. Then she would come to him, Declan loves that. He knows that when they come to him no matter what facade they put on they want him. And how could they not. I mean there are those piercing icy eyes, those perfectly sized lips (which are very kissable, if I may say so myself.), there's his slender and smooth defined bod- okay I'm getting side tracked. Back to uhm the previous topic. Well anyway after that he sweet talks 'em and then he gives them what he likes to call his seduction eyes. And well then comes the part where the clothes just fall off. It worked on any girl he wanted and I never warned one because I was jealous. No, I never warned any because I love him.

But right now I wasn't thinking about Declan or Holly J or anything that was hurting me. Right now I was laughing hysterically, becaues Grey was so much fun. She was coquetish and charming. She was sweet but she wasn't afraid to stand up to me. That made me consider her, really consider her as a friend.

" Fiona! Where haven't you lived?" Grey said said with fits of giggles following.

"Uhm Antarctica." And I began to laugh because her laugh was contagious.

"Liar!" She kiddingly accused. She started again.

"Fiona, darling you-" Suddenly she stopped mid word and took a look around. So I took a chance to do the same. After a minute we looked back at each other with a mild shock apparent on our faces. And I knew were thinking the same thing. No one else was in the shop, it was just me and Grey.

I took the initiative and asked her what the time was. Grey looked at her ring watch and answered with anxiety.

"Fiona , its 1:30."

"But that makes no sense its dark outside."

"No, no Fiona AM. Its 1:30 AM!"

"Oh shit. Oops that , I didn't mean to say it out-loud." I really need to work on that.

"Well , well who knew the dutchess could be crude." Grey lightened the mood and after further intervention she calmed me down.

"Fiona, Fiona don't worry we'll find a pay phone and you can call whoever you need to."

She then closed up the shop which made me curious so I asked.

"How'd you know how to do that?"

"Well sometimes I cover for the workers here. Its called giving back, my dear Watson." I smiled.

" Listen Grey I do-"

HONK!

Grey and I turned our heads to the left of us to see the car that honked at us. And upon further inspection, I knew who it was. Declan, Holly J and Jane were in the car.

"Do you know them?"

"Yeah , there probably here for me" I new the distress was evident in my voice.

"Well then that's my cue." Grey started to stroll away into the dark.

"Wait, when will I see yo-"

"I'll be around, Fiona." And with that Grey slid into the dark streets.

As she left Declan came out of the car and slammed the door while Jane and Holly J followed.

He was fuming, this wasn't going to go well. Well, whatever this night was worth it.

" Fiona, what the HELL?" He screamed

"Its almost 2AM and you're roaming the streets. Are you insane?"All this screaming was giving me a head ache and after awhile i just blanked out until I felt his hands on my shoulders. He shook me then enveloped me in a hug. I just stood there waiting for him to let go. I knew I should have been overjoyed at a time like this but I knew it wasn't going to last. His worrying his caring towards me wouldn't last. TomorrowI would melt into the backround and the apple of his eye would once again be Holly J. So I just stood there, I didn't wrap my arms around his waist, I didn't take in Declan's intoxicating smell, and I didn't let myself melt into his arms. It probably hurt him but it hurt me more. He let go and I slid into the car. Well all drove home in silence.

The next day came and just like I predicated. Declan was wrapped up in Holly J and when I slipped out he didn't even notice. I started taking walks they helped me calm down and bring me back to a happy place in my mind. A place where Declan was mine to have and to hold. A place where I was his one and only and he was mine. But that place was in my head, in my sanctuary. Not my reality.I guess thats why I've been son hostile towards Holly J. I mean i'm not a people person but I certainly don't act his bad. In the next few days I was on a flight to Manhatthan. But this time it wouldn't just be me the "lovely" Holly J and Jane would be tagging along. We landed in Manhattan and I was jet-lagged. I always got jet-lagged but I never worried because Declan's alwyas around to make sure i'm safe and take care of me. I guess this time i'm on my own. So I made sure we got to the home as soon as possible. The door man took my bags and greeted me. So i smiled at him and he led us up to our home. Oh I love saying that now that were back in N ew York. The doorman opened the door and I slipped into the house and found the nearest couch. Holly J started babbling on about how big our place is.

"Lets all go sight-seeing. You up for it Fi?" I knew Declan only suggested it because Holly J wanted to and I knew he only invited me because of pity.

" No thanks I'm beat for now. But we'll do something later, kay?" By the time I finshed my sentence I realzed Declan stopped listeneing after no. But i wouldn't confront him about because we were going to celebrate later. We always did when we moved somewhere new. It was a tradition we never missed one. No matter how wrapped up in Holly J he was Declan would take me out tonight. I know him , I beleive in him. He would usually take me out ot dinner or an amusment park. Either way it was our time. Me and Declan time. It made me feel like I was worth something to him. And right now I needed to feel that. After a two hour nap, I started to get ready for out outing. I took my shower and slipped into a Fiona Coyne original , along with long hanging earings, and applied some blush and lipgloss. I had to look really good, and I did. I knew I looked pretty in a midnight blues dress that hugged me yet drapped off me. I was so excited I started to twirl around until I hear the phone ring.

I answered and it was Declan. A smile made it across my face.

"Hey Fi." He said.

"Hey Decs." I said with a teethy smile on my face.

"So me and Holly J will be home late."

"But what about-"

"Were going out for dinner, we'll be home late. Bye, Fi."

"Wait-" He already hung up. Declan was going out with Holly J tonight. Not me Holly J. What else was she going to steal from me? I was being replaced for everything. Not even the little things that Declan and I shared belonged to me anymore. Do I matter anymore? i feel like an idoit, I spent forever getting all dolled up and excited. Just to find out he did our thing with someone else. This is ridiculous. I was to tired to be angry I just slid into my bed and cried till I fell asleep.

I guess thats when it started, when I becasme a real bitch towards her. I started to always try and one up her when it came to Declan. He was mine first. So over the next weeks things between us got intense. We were always fighting. When we both got an intership at TVM it just got worse. Soon enough I was lying about beign best friends with Jane, and made Holly J stay after late so I could finally get my Declan time. The worse part was I felt a little bad about it. But I really missed him and since he disregarded out tradition. Going to the opera was alot of fun and so was the Holly J confrontaion I got after she found out what I did. So she locked me in a closet so i got fired from my intership. I guess I deserved it, but either way I called Declan and maybe I modified the story a little bit but I told him what happened.

And for the first time this summer Declan thought of me first, he cared about me. He didn't treat me as if I was second best. Decs took me hand, gave Holly J a look of disdain, and led me out of the building. As we left the building Declan took my hand and pulled me into a hug. He let go and kissed my forehead but he didn't smile. And Declan always smiled when he kissed my forhead. The ride home was a silent one, a silent painful one. One thing I chose not to tell Declan my entire life was that I could read his face. I could see his inside not the mask. I never saw the guise. And right now he was thinking about her. He was thinking about her. He didn't think it was her fault , he thought it was mine. My goddam fault. He was suppose to beleive in me. Me! I needed to hurt Declan the way he hurt me, but not directly. I would use Holly J, I would..wait what am I doing? Who is the person? Why am I acting like this? I'm just angry I need to calm down.

But this is so unfair and so unlike Declan. He hardly cares about me anymore the only person I want to see right now is Grey. But shes in Canada. Grea just great. One of the only friends i've made since I was thirteen is hundreds of miles away. Wait a minute I just remebered I'm a Coyne. We can make anything happen.

I made a few calls and suddely I heard Grey's voice. I was so excited,so happy ,so nervous. I was a big ball of emotions. Her voice was smooth and never lost its rhythm. She told me how boring Canada was without my pretty face to bring it alive. I blushed,giggled and stupidly told her how much I missed her. Before she could crush me I told her I had to jet. Jet? Who uses that termonolgy?

Uh anyway I have a party to arrange. After about two hours the party was on a roll. It only took me an hour to prep, all I had to do was make the calls. Everything was going great until Holly J had to walce down the stairs in a way that made Declan stare. And made me jelaous. I did the deed of introducing her to my "friends" or Declans exs the line are blured. Then she storms off all angry towrds Declan. And the next thing I know the two are swapping spit. I couldn't control it and after those drink well I knew things were only gonna go down hill from here.


	4. Away

Hi there everyone thank you so much for all the reviews it feels really radical. I'm sorry I haven't gotten a chance to read all your stories but I'm trying! I also apologize for the horrible spelling last chaper. I didn't feel like spell and gee thanks for the bashing comment(s) you know who you are. I appreaciate honest. All I'm saying is stay open and if you don't like my story you don't have to read it. But I hope you do.

What was wrong with her? Didn't she know that Declan was mine first and that she had no right what so ever to come and whisk him away. Did she ever for a second think of what it was doing to me? My insides would tighten every time I saw them together. My blood would boil every time their lips met. This was killing me because I should be in Holly J's place. I was with Declan all seventeen years of his life, from the beginning. And now it was just like I was someone he'd never met.

And that was it I had, had enough. Enough of Holly J, enough of Declan, and enough of being set aside. I tried to stop myself but all those margaritas sort of impaired my judgment. So I angrily walked up to Declan and Holly J.

"You two are disgusting." I meant to say it nonchalantly but the venom was evident in my voice.

"He's my boyfriend." Holly J shot back like it was supposed to mean something.

"Why are you so jealous Fiona?" She questioned.

"Listen Holly J when it comes to you there is nothing, nothing to be jealous of." I didn't mean for it to come out so mean. Who am I kidding, yes I did.

"Declan I'm tired of this. I'm tired of coming second to your sister. And quite frankly it's a bit inappropriate."

"You wanna see inappropriate." And with that I pulled Declan's face to mine and kissed him. I pour my heart into the kiss because I had been waiting for the day that I could kiss him in front of everyone. For the day that Declan Coyne would me mine. The day he would love me. A few seconds was enough to get my heart beating. And he kissed me back , Declan kissed me. I was at such a lost for words until he started pushing me away. As soon as I started to pull away I realized what I had done. I realized that there was going to be a lot of aftermath and it was going to be ugly. I was scared and terrified and I just fainted.

I opened my eyes and I was in my bed looking up at the ceiling. And along came the hangover headache. God it felt like someone hit me over the head with four hammers. I slipped out of my bed and hit the floor. Yeah walking would have to wait because right now all I could salvage was crawling. After tweleve futile attemps at walking I some how managed down the stairs. I was in the kitchen ouring a glass of mango cranberry juice. I live for that suff. I slipped out of the kitchen and into the living room. Declan was waiting there.

"Have you seen page six?" Declan asked disgusted at me.

"Well its a framer." Ugh why did I say that. It was the stupidest thing to sya at a time like this. I mean why can't I lay my sarcasm to rest for now.

"Funny. You know what else is funny? Now you're spending the rest of the summer with Aunt Kate. I called mom and everythings settled."

"What? Your sending me to the Hamptons. Can we talk?"

"Okay!," he screamed.

"All our lives we've only had each other Fiona but it has to change."

It broke me, I was at the end of the line. At my brink and Declan just let me fall. He even helped push me. He was driving me to insanity and I was starting to think I might already be I just let it all go. I couldn't careless if he wanted it or not but Declan was going to see my quintessence feelings. I screamed.

"You Declan, you're so inconsiderate. And you know what? You're scared you're just scared! You're a scared little boy Declan and thats thats-Do you see what you've driven me to? Huh?"

"Decaln you're all I have!"

"I can't be Fiona! I'm scared that you're messed up-"

"What? You're scared that I'm messed up? Don't play these games with me Declan. Don't , you know what I'm feeling. You're feeling what I am! "

"No, Fiona I love Holly J."

I started to calm down but the pain Declan was going to feel fromwhat I was about to say wouldn't hurt any less.

"I hate you."

I saw his expression change so drastically. It amazed me, then I realzied that this was just another one of Declan's tricks. He made girls think he had been wounded. He gave them the I was hurt look, but he wasn't he never was. And I guess I was no exception.

All he had had to say was

"I'm sorry you feel that way, Fiona."

"Listen Declan save you're sorrys." I tried so hard to be strong but the harder I tried the more tears rolled down my face. This hurt to much to be the right thing to do. I was already beating myself down, why did Declan have to join in?

With that I ran into my room, slammed the door, and cryed with all the power vested in me. The rest of the day was a blur, but I certainly remebered standing aoutside of the apartement with my bags packed. I remeber the pain, I remeber numbness. My mother looked at me with so much sympathy yet the disdan was to great to hide. She hugged me anyway. And with that I was gone, shipped off to the Hamptons. Away from New York, away from Declan. This was going to be a long, long summer.

* * *

I apologize about the shortness I swear the next chapter will be longer. If you guys want it to. :)  
Thanks for reading and please review if you want me to continue that is oh and i'm starting an Eli and Clare fic because well the reasons are obvious.


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